Breaking the Rules..... It begins!

So a while back I met someone who turned out to be a friend indeed! I have always made remarks like God's got me and everytiime someoone asked me who takes care of you I said God and I think that somedays I took this for granted till I was remided that God's surely got me... I was aided by a starnger liutterally who made hospital visits everyday, one night they spent the entire night in hospital with me... I was blown! Right there I knew that the verse Psalms 121:3 ssurely came to life. He who keeps me does not slumber.

I got a friend from this ordeal...reminded me of who I was or things I loved.....
The person I met told me they blog so I told them I used to blog and they asked why I had not blogged in forever!
So this post is really going to be so random as I have not blogged in years!!!! Literally and now seating on my bed I decided I should give blogging a go again.
I wondered where to start and I thought I should start right at home...myslef and whats been raging in me for the longest time!
 Most of us expect to have a successful job or career, a good family life, loving relationships, personal fulfillment, and financial security and everything that comes with what we believe is a good life. But the truth is for many of us this is not reality…it simply is not how it is

Ther comes a tiime when you start to ask yourself questions like what is holding me back? Why am I spinning my wheels and getting nowhere?Why do I feel like no matter what I do or try, I end up right where I started? You will notice most times you never get perfect answers to those questions. Each time you ask them you give yourself a different answer... but it all revolves around how you think you have not given eneough.

So try something today give yourself permission to break the rules, to move outside the boundaries of your usual way of looking at things. For the time being, forget about practical, realistic ideas. Dare to go beyond the self-censorship that comes from worrying about what other people think. Just for today try to follow your heart and dismiss unimportant “shoulds,”. Open the door to creative, spiritual and personal breakthroughs. Cast care to the wind, and try that thing you have always wanted to try but was too terrified of what people will think. Give that boss a call, set up that appointment, submit that manuscript you have sat on for weeks, months or even years, give that girl a call and ask for a date, go to that restaurant you have always wanted to go to but thought you are too busy to make time, give that friendship, marriage, relationship a sceond chance..... Throw all you cards in todayfor that dream you have always wanted..... Guess what whatever the outcome goood or bad you will have a perfect answe to one question for sure. "I gave it my best and now I never have to live with the thought of what if I had tried"

Nothing beats the feeling of emptiness that comes with regret of not having tried something because you were scared. So many a times we stop ourselves in the track because we are scared of failure but believe me Fear stops more dreams than failure ever will. It’s crazy! Fear makes people imagine the worst. “My business idea is too risky” or “I will never get accepted to work for my dream company. And if I do, I won’t be skilled enough for the position.” Fear intimidates and makes excuses like “I will do it tomorrow.”

What we should remember about fear is that it’s an illusion; it’s all in our mind. Although experiencing fear is normal, it should never stop us from acting on a dream or vision. That’s called courage.

Do not start your dream tomorrow..start Today! Go out and break the rules. You will be surprised the thrill that comes from breakiing the rules of fear!

Learn to dance outside the boundaries....

I have enjoyed writing this...Forgive any spelling mistakes but heck...today is the day I chose to break the rules!!!!

See you soon!

When all seems blue

Yesterday evening a friend of mine sent me a message, asking me to stand with them in prayer and for some reason I wondered why God would ask me to be there for someone when I myself needed all the prayers I could lay my hands on.

But then I realized that many a times we go through situations and we think God is punishing us, or he does not care but sometimes it may be pruning, a consequence of something we did even when God has forgiven us for what we did but there will be a time you go through something for one sole reason: so that you can be able to be there for someone in the future when they are faced with the same. And today was the time for which I went through a tough time those many years back.

You would be able to understand them deeply because you have been where they are at that point. when they tell you they are tired of praying because God does not answer or he says no each time.

Be able to relate with them when they think the bad thing happening to them was sent by God. But most times I have come to also learn that the enemy will send many things our way just to frustrate us even when we pray so we blame God. This is where he wins..

But as I sat with my bible this morning looking for a way to encourage my friend who was devastated and in her heart of hearts felt punished by God, forgotten by God..and not answered by God all the several prayers she had made. I remembered the most magnificent words I read that dark moment when I felt God had forgotten me. When I prayed for my dad's healing and it never came and he passed.

Job 5:18 says "For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. "  Fine at that moment I may have felt that God had wounded me, my spirit for having forgotten me (even if that was not the case) but he would not stop there...with the same hands God's hands heal.

And when I felt condemned and felt that all God had for me was punishment these words came flooding Hosea 6:1 "Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. "

This meant whatever I may have done to get me to a place of these consequences I still had a chance to go back to the Lord and though I may be wounded by what I had done, God would heal me.

And last but not least is one that always encourages me when all seems blue Psalms 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. "

So I do not know who is out there and feels lost and desolate in a world so cruel but there is hope.  Speak these words to yourself and you will find unexplainable healing. One that is beyond human understanding.

God says in Isaiah 55:11 "so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." So as you pray his word believe beyond reasonable doubt that it will not return to him void.

After a very long long time..close to year..feels great to be writing again! The blogger is back!

Talk soon

Free Yourself From Resentment

“Harboring resentment wastes time and robs your energy.”

Holding grudges against another takes a tremendous amount of energy and slowly erodes your happiness.

If you think about it, it’s also a waste of time. You have so many better things to do with your life.

When you allow your negative emotions to affect your daily thoughts and actions, you become controlled by them.

Take a check of the resentment you hold against your loved ones, your co-workers or even your neighbor. Try to overcome your resentment by letting your considerate and loving nature dominate thoughts and actions.

You will find this true....

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is the power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.

You can choose how to live your life. Free yourself from resentment and you will regain all of your energy. Try it. You’ll feel great when you do!

I know you are going to feel superb. The action is work but you can start by saying it out loud to yourself "I forgive person X" Say it as many times as you can until you start to bel8ieve it.

Then you will realize you have actually forgiven them. There is a whole lot of power in confession.

See you on the other side... tee hee..

What would you do?

This time I really do not know where to start but have one simple statement, when what is being asked of you is more than you can take and yet it is all you can take..... Not even certain of this makes sense but that's what is running through my mind....

 Any  words of advice? Anyone?

Dealing with guilt.........

Hi Peeps, missed you all....I have not blogged for like forever but I am back this year. This time the first thing I would like to talk or should I say write about is guilt and how to deal with it. 

I do this because I have had a fair share of dealing with guilt for like the past 3 months...may be a contributor to my not blogging but hey..I am only here to tell you what has helped me and not really say this is all that can work for you but I know it can help if you a caught this vicious circle of carrying around guilt.

A vital difference exists between healthy and unhealthy guilt. Healthy guilt motivates us to amend relationships, make things right, and move toward health. It is focused on others more than on oneself. Unhealthy guilt often results in self-hatred. We condemn ourselves. We refuse to believe we can ever be accepted. 

This after a while becomes shame and Shame debilitates. Have  you wrestled with unhealthy guilt and forgiveness, read Psalm 51, which records David's prayer for forgiveness after committing the sins of adultery, murder, lying, and covering up. 

I challenge each person to read it and ask for forgiveness. Once finished, I tell them, "Don't ever ask God to forgive you for that sin again." For people who wrestle with shame, a pattern forms to bring up the same sins over and over again. I share what the Bible says: "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west" (Ps. 103:12 NLT). God has removed our sins from us as far as it is possible.

Confession of sin, of course, is healthy and a necessary part of daily biblical practice. However, constant confession of the same sin inhabits unbelief and not true confession, and the person is often left paralyzed on the road out to freedom.

If unhealthy guilt weighs you down read Romans 8 every day. Really let the content sink into your life. I believe you will experience God's forgiveness anew: "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death" (Rom. 8:1-2 NLT).

I will leave you with a question?

Which is more difficult: asking forgiveness, or feeling forgiven

Take your stand today seek forgiveness and once you have asked for it and are genuinely sorry, let go of what you did.... move on. The devil only wants you to sink and never to find freedom.

The ball is in your courts. Its not that easy, especially forgiving yourself but it is totally worth it..

Love y'all

Falling in Love again

“Remember when you were first in love?” The times that everytime he or she walked through a door your heart skipped a beat, or you felt your stomach rumble?

Remember the small things you did to show your love to your boyfriend? Things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say “I love you,” a love note left in his car, a foot massage, simple gifts, and cooking romantic dinners.
Or even just sitting by the side of water at a beach with nothing more than a cup of coffee and a snack... Remember those days?

As time passes you get weighted down with simply living life and forget all those things that made the difference in the beginning. You start to take things for granted, you feel there is no more reason to impress the one you love and in return the excitment dies and the relationship, or marriage starts to drug.

But all is not lost...you can actually fall in love all over again. All you have to do is do the simple things he or she always mentioned about you that blew him away, the ones that he always just smiled and gave u a squeeze, or a kis in the fored and said THANK YOU.

You need to go back to that place. It is very improtant that you do. But please bear in mind, that the feelings will not turn round over night. It takes time and persistence.

I will not lie to you that it may not be frustrating sometimes but when you feel utmost discouraged, just put your mind and memory to that first time she ever said yes, or to the first time he ever looked into your eyes and said I love you.. the things that really mattered to you then, and then tell me if that feeling is not worth fighting for. Think of what it could be like to feel that way again.

Choose to give love and not expect it back and trust me you will one day have that feeling come right back and then you will know it was all worth it.

But an important point is do it in small amounts. Do not try to shove love down ur lovers  throat. You will only push them away. If you feel them warming up to the small bits, increase the quantitites until you are both there....
Rekindle and reconnect with your relationship by consciously going back and doing the things that you did when your love first began to grow. Who knows? You may fall in love all over again!
Remember we do not achieve because we do not try...
I wish you all the best...
One last note:

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

Courage to be yourself!

Its been a while since I last picked up the guts and pieces to write after the weeks I have been through. Its been a learning time for me, a time to grow, a painful time, a time I almost lost any confidence in myself. A time where I could not do things I did before because I did not believe in myself enough to be able to do them again. I felt life pass me by but I did not care even a bit.
I felt so alone. Could not talk to the friends I used to because I just felt them judge me when I did talk to them.

I had hit rick bottom and I had lost all the will to fight!


However as the time passed by, I got to learn a few things.“Discomfort is a small price to pay for growth.”

Many women find it difficult to say “No.” So they keep saying “Yes.”
Some women hurt when they hear praise. They shake their heads and deny their worth.
Many women resist love. They are the caregivers, but they are afraid to be taken care of.
Sometimes a woman wants to get intimate, but she is held back by shame.
Fear, shame and doubt eat away at your self-esteem. Today, decide the course YOU want to take. Don’t always feel compelled to flow with the current.
Ask yourself: Who are you?”
Imagine for a moment that you are the main character in a novel. Ask these questions of that character. What makes her tick? What turns her on? What are her talents? What are her interests? What values guide her life?

The main character in a book evolves and grows. You must do the same. Get to know yourself and you too will evolve and grow.

Start by asking yourself questions about whom you are and what you like to do. Armed with this newfound knowledge you’ll feel confident in asserting yourself in new and more decisive ways.
And, your life will change – for the better!
As a woman you ought to Say “No” firmly and loudly when you need to. When someone praises you, smile gently yet proudly. Allow yourself to be loved and cared for. Take control of your intimate moments by deciding and expressing what YOU want.
Allow discomfort to wash over you and fade away. Do the things that you REALLY want and throw away the mask that has been hiding you. You can do it!

I cant say I am an expert but I am in a way better place than I was 7 weeks ago.
Its a decision you make and then act on it. To stand up for who you are, your priciples and your life!

Talk soon. Missed y'all!

Wondering where God is?

Many times we go thru phases in life that either take us to higher heights or sometimes u feel like they are sucking all the life out of you.. I have had a chance to go through some trying times and I have had to ask myself difficult questions, stopped believing in myself, wondered if God cared at all or if he was hearing any of my prayers.... but the answer to suffering cannot just be an abstract idea, because this isn't an abstract issue; it's a personal issue. It requires a personal response. The answer must be someone, not just something, because the issue involves someone - "God, where are you?" Many times during times of disteress, pain and loss we ask ourselves this question.


"Jesus is there, sitting beside us in the lowest places of our lives," and he has always said Are we broken? He was broken, like bread, for us. Are we despised? He was despised and rejected of men. Do we cry out that we can't take any more? He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Do people betray us? He was sold out himself. Are our tenderest relationships broken? He too loved and was rejected. Do people turn from us? They hid their faces from him as a from a leper...


He is despised in many parts of this fallen world. He's the one we love to hate, yet to us he has chosen to return love. Every tear we shed becomes his tear. He may not wipe them away yet, but he will."


You know in all this..... as many explainations we may need as to why we are suffering or going through what we do...God knew Jesus was more than an explanation,"  "He's what we really need. If your friend is sick and dying, the most important thing he wants is not an explanation; he wants you to sit with him. He's terrified of being alone more than anything else. If  you are hurting always rememeber that God has not left us alone."

God has and will always be there with us even if all the world walks out. So pick up any pieces that you have dropped during the turmoil and give them to the only man who know how to patch them up.

Will leave you with that..

Talk to you soon. Cant believe I have not blogged in a while. Missed it.


Love y'all!

Bait of Satan

This post is dedicated to two great friends of mine who do not realise what they may be but for me have been the best friends I could ever have and have stood by me through all this time. It has been a trying phase for me and I am just taking one step at a time....

I have been reading a book by John Bevere : Bait of Satan. This book speaks about offence and how if we take offence we are actually affecting ourselves and sinning.

“Holding grudges will consume your emotional energy… if you let it.”


Holding grudges uses lots of emotional energy. And, when your emotional energy is tied up in a grudge, it holds you in the past. Grudges hold energy hostage and it’s not until you forgive that your energy can be restored.

Think of forgiveness as something you do for yourself. Think of it as something that makes you stronger, not weaker.

If you’re holding grudges, let them go. Seek reconciliation if needed. If you find it hard to forgive then start with the small grudges and work your way up. The physical feeling of relief and the energy reclaimed will be well worth it.



Forgive today. It’s time to move on!

Catch you soon peeps!

Don't let this steal your dreams!!!

Hand in hand with setbacks and challenges comes discouragement. Its ferocity can stop you in your tracks and before you know it your dreams seem unreachable. Stop! This is only true if you give in.


Today is the day you will conquer discouragement. Today is the day you will feel more determined and stronger than ever. Today is the day you will put one foot in front of the other and persevere.


Make a commitment to yourself that you will never give up when you feel disheartened, but rather, you will view these feelings as a sign to work harder.


You’re entitled to your dreams and aspirations. So why not make this commitment today?

I made mine this morning and it feels awesome! Loving me already!

In the father's house

On the one hand there is the persistent memory of the past with its failures, hurts, shame, and guilt. On the other hand there is the revelation of the gospel that shows me who I now am in Christ. In so many of our lives, the voice of condemnation drowns out the voice of revelation. It is so much easier to focus our eyes on us than on the Lamb.

We become overwhelmed with the memory of our past rather than fixing our gaze on the robe, the ring, the sandals, the fatted calf-all symbols of our Father's grace lavished upon us. We walk down that dark road to find a corner in the servants' quarters.

Your journey to the Father's house begins with that first step of changing your mind about who you perceive yourself to beand who you truly are.

When you do change your mind about who you are, you will change you mind about where you live, moving out of the cold and isolated quarters of the servant into the warmth and intimacy of the Father's house.

Thats an inspiration I read today while trying to break out of a cucoon cycle of a terrible day.

And with that said I leave you with the quote:

"No body can go back and start a new beginning, but any one can start today and make a new ending! Today is the day I start my new begining!

Are you chasing happiness?

“Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.”
At first glance this sounds like the same thing, take a closer look, it’s not.

If you’re completely fulfilled by spending time with your friends and family because you really want to be with them then you truly want what you have.

On the flip side, if you drive the nicest car and have a huge house, and have worked hard to get those things, then you’ve been successful at having what you want.


When you have what you want eventually the feeling of satisfaction wears off. Once you get what you want the old wants are replaced by new wants and the cycle continues. True happiness remains at bay.
Look around you, happiness may be closer than you think. It may just be a matter of changing what you value.

Today I take on time to find the things that make me really happy and love what I have..

Oh by the way I am leave...but stepped in just to see how my peeps are doing

Having a bad day???

“It’s just one of those days.”

There will be days when you’ll end up having a melt down, freaking out, and going into an emotional tailspin. For me today is one of those days....I have been shutting it out, pretending its a good day and lying to myself that I am just being negative.... But I have realised that It’s completely normal. The key is to let it happen.

What’s important is, once it’s over, you need to pick up the pieces and regain your composure. This is your responsibility. It’s crucial not to beat yourself up because you lost control. Remember a fall out doesn’t mean failure.
Expect bad days every once in a while. These days may scare and upset you, but realize they are all part of life.
A great day is just around the corner!


I cant wait or end of day...oe end of the phase so I can look back on it and say that this too has passed!


Catch you soon

Early Morn workout

I am feeling yei today...I was up at 5 to try something really new to me. I love to work out and some of my friends call me a workout freak but I had never pushed it this far. Actually if i told them what I just did they would call me crazy

I did about 5k's and feel proud of myself. It is totally worth it to work out and saves us a whole lot of health issues tho people do not see it that way..

I plan to keep this up tho it is damn hard!

Eight Months...still counting!

Today I make eight months into my current relationship. Ofcourse some of you may wonder why just eight months is big enough to write about it but to me this is a big milestone for me.

To fall in love for me was non existent, infact I was so scared of it... But God had bigger and better plans for me...

This is a tribute to K just in appreciation to having accepted me the way I was.

Thank you my love. There was a time where I didn't beleive in love.I really thought it never existed, but this is the time that makes me want to thank you. Thank you everything, because it is you that taught me love, and how to love. Before, I feared love. But now, I know I can't go on without love. Not any love, but your love, my love, my only, my one. Love you for the years to come, loved you for the months that have passed, and my love you will have always. Yours, J

The past months have been extremely lovely and awesome. It is beautiful to have a best friend and yet have all these emotional feelings go for him. This does not mean we don fight...on the contrary we tag at eachother's necks but this will never last more than hours...becuase of the friends that we are we make up...

I look forward to better times to come and more of the beautiful moments we have shared.

Till then..you can actch me on twitter! LOL! Yes I finally signed up! Thats how idle I have been today....

Bigups!

Talk soon

What a week

Wow...what a week....trying to get my mind at how fast the week has gone by...but it has had its ups and downs...First I begin it by driving allover town to look for Shell gas and I go to this supermarket and find that these guys have hiked their price to 78k from 72k. Anyhows I manange to drive accross town and found it at 72K but that was a husssle.

Then work just seemed to pick up and a notch... Tried doing my research and the writing is also not helping...generally it is one of those weeks that just suck! But I got a highlight on Thursday when I attended Ps. John and Helen Burns speaking about friendships and this was totally awesome! There was a mini concert of the restore tour and damn am I honoured to be part of the Church that has such a vision

I am looking forward to seeing them again today at 6 at MOV/DOD. I am so certain its going to be fun packed!

I crowned my week with the morning jog wheich I have skipped for the last 3 days and damn it felt really hard.....

Right now my body is complaining so much and I just want my bed like yesterday!
We now have swimming comps coming up on Sunday and I do not know how to dive...imagine...Generally I am not exactly looking forward to it but I plan to take off Saturady morning to try and syke myself into it!

I have team building today with my team mbu at gaba? Who does that?????? Teambuilding...Gaba....seriously?????Gaba of all places? I am not sure I will even go coz I loathe that place! Just quite dirty with loads of flies...

Thats how my week has been..and hopefully will be a great feeling at the end of it!

Talk soon!

Friday!

Its friday...weekend is here and I have just finished my jog! Had some fruit and now I am off for movie night...stay tuned my peeps!

The craze continues.....

Did I tell you that we got to celebrate my birthday at office...lovely coconut cake but that meant I hard to work out twice as hard to rid the extra pounds...yes...I always keep that in mind...I don want to get too heavy for myself to carry...

my birthday craze was continued with prayer at Watoto Church overnight on Friday evening. I was blessed to share this moment with the person I love so much. It was a lovely way to begin a new year.... or to end one...it was a beautiful time to come and be humbled before God and cry to him...by the end of the prayer timed I felt so filled and ready to face the new year!

I was then whisked off to Javas for a cup of coffee and loads of cake! Finally I had birthday cake of my own. Had a lovely time and very important talk went down and I realised that I am more than blessed...

As the night drew nigh....I left for home...becuase I had a wedding to work at the next day starting at 8......

Saturday was a beautiful day..beautiful wedding and then Sunday I had to be up and out of the house by 7:30 for service...

It was an awesome service...and yes I attended it with K who yet again had a big surprise for me. I had planned to take my car for service but he said that could wait...

We went off to Boda Boda some prettie spot at Garden city for Chapagne brunch....

Guess what we got there early and then i starts to rain! And yes I love rain...so all this time it was raining we had the place to ourselves coz no one had the guts to walk in the rain...all the waiters had their attention on us...

It was my best birthday celebration because I had quality time which is a first in the list of my love languages....which by the way I am not too sure how many they are coz I seem to fall everywhere.....

My birthday cfraze was crowned with a fab foot massage which just was mwah!

I look forward to my next birthday and most of all....to the person I will share it with..

Big ups for K!

See ya! Gotta run!

What a year! Birthday Craze!

My birthday started off with a message from my lil sister saying she loves me and it was a magical moment for me...it was then followed by a call from K who made me feel so loved...and made me realise I am the luckiest gal to have a man like that in my life...I skipped off to bed and the morning was earlier than anything.

As if God's way of saying happy birthday...I found out for the very first time that my car had a CD changer! OMG. I had driven it for close to a month and had no idea...feels good to actually know that I do not have to listen to radio stations when they are boring!

I punched up myself in pink and black two of my favourite colours...tho I think I just like all colours except green!!!! Yuck!

Drove off to work..a normal day until my workmates creeped up on me and flashed me with water...warm, ice cold and singing off tune! LOL!

Recieved a call from reception ...mum had sent me a gift.....Felt loved tho...then I was whisked off by K for lovely lunch...quality time... and then the afternoon went by slowly...My lil sis dropped in around about that time and brought me something in one of my favourite colours ....PINK....and when we were done with work I spent the evening with K....recieved a lovely foot massage...danced to soft music (He heals me by Idia Arie - a song that reminds me a whole lot of K ) in candle light...beautiful night I tell u

Listen here.....



AT about 10pm I assumed my day is done but I have had a tradition ..I always have to do something crazy on my birthday. So this is what I did on my birthday as crazy:

1. I drove all the way from Golf course to Garden city at 0.5km/h was totally crazy coz it was late and there were army men lined up on that raod lookintg for Alshabab bombs and I kept going in my mind like "what if they stop me and take me in!"

2. I drove all the way up the garden city parking to the drive in cinema...I do not even think anyone has driven there before...there were only army men..I got out of the car and looked down..totally terrified but excited

3. I then decided to enter a casino for the very first time in my life! I came in as tho I was up for gambling and all these gals kept giving me looks...they were practically naked...I guess they had not seen a fully dressed female in ages....

4. I drove back home and climbed on top of my car and stood on it. After I thought to myself...I could have fallen but yei! I had done something crazy on birthday

I went in...took a cold bath...and slid into bed....my birthday was crowned with a call from K reminding me of how much he loves me...

But hey...the craze is not yet done....there is more...

Stick around for the rest of it.....

My Car here!

Wooo....

New day new week...and guess what this week I had the opportunity to set eyes for the very first time on my new car that I have waited for close to 5 months! Yes...believe me even a ship coming from Australia would not take that long!

But God had different plans for me! It came with stuff that I had not expected to...and its super exciting.

Now I need to get a mechanic to put rivets...stop stuff from being pulled off my car..as well as fix an alarm. Wow.....

For now I am super excited....and happy